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On Donuts + Grace + First Tattoos

These last couple months I've been intentionally silent. 

After choosing to step out of the narrative and instead devote my time to reading, processing, reflecting, and praying, I figured now was a good time to break my silence only because there's something I really want to share with you. 

When I started this whole thing about a year ago (!!!), I promised myself I would be completely transparent -- primarily in my struggles and all of the things the Lord is teaching me as I walk with Him. I don't write my posts to give the impression that I have it all figured out. I would much rather use this as a space to highlight my imperfections, with the hope that there is one person who will find encouragement from these words; and also, to allow those of you who read these words to hold me accountable. More often than not, the way I choose to act contradicts the things I claim to believe.

There is no discernible difference between the wrong choice and the almost right one -- neither of them are the right choice, and so they both have consequences (that tend to be destructive to both you and those around you). When facing these consequences in my own life, I am reminded of a book I once read that paints the perfect picture of grace.

In it, the author (whose name is JP) tells a story about his daughter. He had just watched his daughter hit her sister, and immediately, she felt guilty (a consequence of her action). I'm almost positive that she wasn't expecting what was coming next. Of all of the ways her dad could have reacted in that moment, he drove her to her favorite donut shop instead. JP tells the next part a lot better than I could:

    We walked inside, and I ordered Presley her favorite chocolate eclair. Presley had big, confused eyes. She wiped tears away, looking at the eclair, and probably wondered if maybe it was her last meal.
    We sat down and I asked her, "What did you do?"
    She looked afraid again. "I hit my sister."
    "What do you deserve?" I asked.
    "A spanking."
    "Yes, you deserve the spanking of a lifetime. I can't believe you hit your sister like that. That's not who you are."
    Then I pointed to the eclair. "What's this?"
    "That's a donut," she said.
    "No, Presley, that's grace."

(Sorry Em, there couldn't have been a more perfect opportunity for me to share this picture.  😉)

On a more serious note, this little girl and I have so much in common -- the biggest being that we've both been shown a grace we do not deserve. My mistakes and all of the ways I fall short are what makes me the perfect candidate for God's grace. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Taking advantage of the grace I've been shown (over and over again) is like throwing away a perfectly good donut. It'd be silly of me to waste something so sweet. There are still some things I am learning to let go of because I know they aren't God's best for me. It's hard because I hear the world urging me to go down one path and at the same time, Jesus is trying to lead me down another completely different path. Unfortunately, the right path is typically not the easy one.

One more thing.

I got my first tattoo last December and I frequently get asked what it means, but that's always been kind of hard for me to explain. I feel like, in writing this post, I've been able to effectively put it into words. 2 Corinthians 5:14 says, "For Christ's love compels us, for we are convinced that one died for all..." Essentially, it means that I am compelled by the love He's shown me (through the grace He offers me) to walk in obedience. I will still inevitably make mistakes and I know that I'll continue to fall short... but I am compelled to try. 



"If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." -- 2 Corinthians 15:30

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves." -- James 1:22

P.S. If you're looking for more wisdom from JP, check out the "Welcome to Adulting Survival Guide". (I promise you, you won't regret it.) 

P.P.S. In case you missed it, 2 Corinthians is full of some GOOD stuff. I dare you to read it sometime. (I promise you, you won't regret this either.)





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