The Comparison Game

I just want to be good enough.

I can't tell you how many times this thought has crossed my mind. And admit it, you've been here too. Who can blame us though when society sets us up for comparison? We're told we're not good enough because we're not somebody's first choice or because we didn't pass the class or because somebody has it a lot better than we do. We go through times where all we do is compare our circumstances and situations to those around us and it makes us feel unworthy. We become so focused on the things we don't have that it's impossible to appreciate the things we do. We get stuck playing the comparison game and unfortunately, it's a game you can't win. But we try.

I've tried. I would always wish I was prettier or smarter or that somebody would see the worth I was incapable of seeing in myself. I found I was constantly playing the comparison game and here's what I learned.

Because of this insecurity, oftentimes we turn to temporary vices (relationships, the approval of others, you name it) in an attempt to satisfy us and fill this void. The problem here is that temporary things do not last, and 100% of the time temporary things inevitably lead to disappointment. Time and time again I kept setting myself up for disappointment through the pursuit of things that brought me momentary confidence. It took me long enough to realize this but, believe it or not, temporary things will not create permanent security.

But we're stuck playing because these vices make us feel like we measure up. They make us feel worthy, but only for a moment. And eventually (if we let them), these things become part of who we are. They become part of our identity. I believe there is only one way you can win the comparison game: let the One who created you be the one who defines you.

This year has been a year of growth for me and it's because when I faced with the choice to compare, I shifted my focus away from the things that could only bring me temporary satisfaction and towards the only one that could bring me lasting satisfaction. Instead of focusing on the things I didn't have, I focused on the good. I believe that He is the good. And He only knows how to give good gifts -- even if it might not appear that way right now. 

Through this, I have found many of my disappointments to be blessings in disguise. I have found my pain has a purpose if I look at each hardship as an opportunity for growth. I have found His plan for me is far greater than any plans I have tried to make for myself. I have found that He is sufficient for me. I have found that I am chosen and I am worthy and I am loved.

And I have found that you are too.