Building a Longer Table

"Build a longer table, not a higher fence." - Manda Carpenter

I came across this quote while casually scrolling through Instagram one day and conviction hit me hard. Instantly, I felt guilty because (if I'm being honest) there's a fence around my heart that's been built 100 feet high. In a world where it's become the norm to put up walls for our own protection and comfort, it's still so important to love everyone. To make room at our table for everyone.

Yes, you read that right. I said everyone.

That means loving those we disagree with, those who are different than us, and even those who have hurt us. (Note that our call to love them doesn't mean we give them a free pass to keep hurting us. I really hope you realize the difference.)

If you choose to keep reading, I encourage you to be honest with yourself because honesty is the first step to tearing down our fences.

Let me tell you what I mean.

Criticism, conflict, prejudice, pride -- though these are not necessarily attributes I have wanted for myself, these are all things that have helped me build my fence so high. Innately, I don't respond well to criticism, which means when I get told I'm wrong or that there's still room for improvement... I get upset. I refuse to shift my perspective and instead, I choose to shut out those who are criticizing me rather than listen to what they have to say. And, in all honesty, most of us have grown up with a sense of prejudice and pride embedded into our hearts. Perhaps some of us choose not to acknowledge injustice because we're convinced there's nothing we can do about it. Or we avoid conflict because our pride reassures us that we're not in the wrong. Or maybe, without even realizing it, we've put ourselves on a pedestal and, as a result, our table is only big enough for one.

If any of this resonates with you, that means you feel conviction, too... and that's a good thing! We all have fences that are too high and tables that are too small, myself included. We can either continue to choose passivity, or respond to this conviction.

I'm working on making more room at my table -- and I really hope you will, too.

Jesus did. Quite literally. Matthew 9:10-11 tells us that He ate dinner with the same people He would soon carry a cross for. Why? These sinners could not have been more different from Jesus. He knew that they would hurt Him, but He loved them anyways because that's what He was called to do. In choosing to love them anyways, Jesus made more room at His table. And I believe we are called to do the same.

In your life, building a longer table may also look like listening intently to what others have to say instead of interjecting with your own thoughts and opinions. It may look like advocating for those who don't typically have a seat at the table. It may look like practicing empathy towards those who have hurt you (reminder: you will never fully know another person's story).

So if you want to build a longer table, ask yourself:

• What do I need to do to tear down my fence?
• What does it look like to listen? To advocate? To practice empathy?
• How can I go out of my way to love others better?

"We love because He first loved us." -- 1 John 4:19

P.S. If you want to support foster youth, you can buy one of these shirts from Goods & Better. With each purchase, this organization supplies a child in the foster care system with clothes, toys, blankets, etc. What better way to help support others who are making more room at their table!?

Also, check out Manda's podcast, "A Longer Table" if you want to keep challenging your perspectives! You can find it on Apple Podcasts and it's definitely worth the listen.